Hey guys I have internet now. (I think. It didn't set up like it was supposed to and I'm currently on hold with telus.) A summary of my life thus far is available below, because I still have thoughts without the internet, and needed somewhere to put them. They are posted under the date upon which the thoughts occurred to me, because that's the kind of person I am.
ps - hey telus, your on hold music sucks. okay thanks.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
master chef, o master chef, wherefore art thou not in my kitchen
I made a mistake on dinner. I forgot to freeze my ground beef in one-person sections, so I had to thaw out and subsequently fry up a whole pack tonight. However, I brilliantly came up with two days worth of meal plans that used ground beef. I would have mac and cheese and ground beef tonight (a delicacy, to be sure), tacos tomorrow, and then freeze whatever I had left. Super good plan.
However, just before dinner I got a call from my landlord saying he’d come by shortly to fix some stuff, and then I called my super to arrange for him to come by in a bit to pick up a spare key so he could let the fire people in to do an inspection, and I think I was distracted. After frying and seasoning the ground beef and doctoring up my macaroni, I poured the mac into the beef and started stirring. It wasn’t until AFTER I’d started stirring that I realized I had forgotten to separate the beef into sections for tonight and tomorrow, and I’d already mixed it up too much to separate, so I muttered a curse word (that’s a lie, I shouted a curse word and almost tore my hair out in frustration – living alone seems to make mildly upsetting things REALLY upsetting) and decided that I’d have to have mac and cheese and ground beef for dinner tonight, lunch tomorrow, and dinner tomorrow. GROSS.
Plus, the ratio of mac and cheese to ground beef was not acceptable. It’s like 60% beef to 40% non-beef. I think I’m going to have to make up another box of KD to mix in to the debacle, and just throw away what I can’t eat. I am so disappointed, you guys. I had it all planned out.
However, just before dinner I got a call from my landlord saying he’d come by shortly to fix some stuff, and then I called my super to arrange for him to come by in a bit to pick up a spare key so he could let the fire people in to do an inspection, and I think I was distracted. After frying and seasoning the ground beef and doctoring up my macaroni, I poured the mac into the beef and started stirring. It wasn’t until AFTER I’d started stirring that I realized I had forgotten to separate the beef into sections for tonight and tomorrow, and I’d already mixed it up too much to separate, so I muttered a curse word (that’s a lie, I shouted a curse word and almost tore my hair out in frustration – living alone seems to make mildly upsetting things REALLY upsetting) and decided that I’d have to have mac and cheese and ground beef for dinner tonight, lunch tomorrow, and dinner tomorrow. GROSS.
Plus, the ratio of mac and cheese to ground beef was not acceptable. It’s like 60% beef to 40% non-beef. I think I’m going to have to make up another box of KD to mix in to the debacle, and just throw away what I can’t eat. I am so disappointed, you guys. I had it all planned out.
Monday, August 30, 2010
i left my body at the top of the hill
I live pretty close to the beach. I can see the ocean from a few places in my apartment if I stand on my tip-toes, and it’s maybe a five minute drive to the sea walk. I thought, hey, why don’t I walk to the beach? Yesterday I spent most of the day watching episodes of Popular, so I could probably use the fresh air. Mother and I had planned on walking to the beach while she was here, but never got a chance, but from our plan I knew it wasn’t actually that close via walking. I’d have to walk down a hill, and then on the Island Highway for a bit, and then I’d get to the sea walk. Today, I optimistically wore my sweat pants and runners, and set out for the beach.
After about five minutes of walking, I started to get a sinking feeling. Walking to the beach was going to be super easy, because it’s all downhill; walking home from the beach was going to be a disaster, because it’s all up hill. However, even with this in mind I just wanted to see how far it was. Walking beside the highway was a bit scary because I was on the side with no sidewalk (keep in mind that when I say “highway” it is not a highway like on the mainland. It’s one lane both ways, but it’s still a busy road) but I persevered until I made it to the beginning of the sea walk. Fifteen minutes, only! Although because of the steep downhill the whole way my legs felt a bit funny. I walked for a bit on the sea walk, and discovered it to be a misnomer: for the first while, it is actually just a regular sidewalk because houses and apartment buildings have taken over the beach and inserted themselves between the seawalk and the ocean. So I gave up and turned around, because I was anticipating an awful uphill battle and it was taking too long to see the ocean.
Walking home was just as bad as I’d thought it would be. I was good at the first big hill, because I just kept putting one foot in front of the other at a steady pace, but then I came to the part where I had to cross the highway – there was a crosswalk, but not one with lights so I didn’t know if anyone would actually stop for me. They did, and because I didn’t want to take twenty minutes to cross the street with cars waiting impatiently on either side, I ran across. Then I didn’t want to look like an idiot who just runs across the street and then walks the rest of the way, so I ran up the hill for a bit until I thought all the cars who’d seen me were gone. HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS. That was a terrible idea. I was debating collapsing on someone’s lawn for a recuperation break, but remembered from high school PE that you are not supposed to suddenly stop moving after exerting yourself. So I kept going. Up and up and up the stupid hill back to my apartment. Then I had to climb a flight of stairs because I feel silly taking the elevator up one floor, plus it’s a creepy elevator who is never quite sure if it’s going to open the doors for you or not.
As soon as I’d locked the front door behind me, I threw all my clothes in the laundry and jumped in the shower. I haven’t exercised like that since I moved all my stuff into my apartment. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be sore tomorrow. What was I thinking? Wearing sweatpants does not automatically make me athletic. Maybe next time I will drive down to the beach and THEN walk. Or challenge myself and find a slightly more gradual way home. We’ll see.
After about five minutes of walking, I started to get a sinking feeling. Walking to the beach was going to be super easy, because it’s all downhill; walking home from the beach was going to be a disaster, because it’s all up hill. However, even with this in mind I just wanted to see how far it was. Walking beside the highway was a bit scary because I was on the side with no sidewalk (keep in mind that when I say “highway” it is not a highway like on the mainland. It’s one lane both ways, but it’s still a busy road) but I persevered until I made it to the beginning of the sea walk. Fifteen minutes, only! Although because of the steep downhill the whole way my legs felt a bit funny. I walked for a bit on the sea walk, and discovered it to be a misnomer: for the first while, it is actually just a regular sidewalk because houses and apartment buildings have taken over the beach and inserted themselves between the seawalk and the ocean. So I gave up and turned around, because I was anticipating an awful uphill battle and it was taking too long to see the ocean.
Walking home was just as bad as I’d thought it would be. I was good at the first big hill, because I just kept putting one foot in front of the other at a steady pace, but then I came to the part where I had to cross the highway – there was a crosswalk, but not one with lights so I didn’t know if anyone would actually stop for me. They did, and because I didn’t want to take twenty minutes to cross the street with cars waiting impatiently on either side, I ran across. Then I didn’t want to look like an idiot who just runs across the street and then walks the rest of the way, so I ran up the hill for a bit until I thought all the cars who’d seen me were gone. HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS. That was a terrible idea. I was debating collapsing on someone’s lawn for a recuperation break, but remembered from high school PE that you are not supposed to suddenly stop moving after exerting yourself. So I kept going. Up and up and up the stupid hill back to my apartment. Then I had to climb a flight of stairs because I feel silly taking the elevator up one floor, plus it’s a creepy elevator who is never quite sure if it’s going to open the doors for you or not.
As soon as I’d locked the front door behind me, I threw all my clothes in the laundry and jumped in the shower. I haven’t exercised like that since I moved all my stuff into my apartment. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be sore tomorrow. What was I thinking? Wearing sweatpants does not automatically make me athletic. Maybe next time I will drive down to the beach and THEN walk. Or challenge myself and find a slightly more gradual way home. We’ll see.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
watch out for robo-shopper
Something I have not yet mastered: pushing a shopping cart. I have a strong aversion to pushing shopping carts. Whenever Mother and I go shopping, I hold the list and she pushes the cart. (Sidenote: it is really difficult to do both. I was in the checkout and suddenly remembered that I had forgotten the mustard. Sorry mustard, I will return for you another day.) I hate pushing carts. I feel like a hybrid robot/person who hasn’t figured out how to use her mechanical parts yet and keeps banging into things and misfiring her lasers. (How awesome would that be?? I would feel better pushing around a shopping cart with lasers.) I feel more acutely embarrassed when I go down the wrong aisle with a shopping cart, because you have to turn the stupid thing around, which makes it more obvious that you made a mistake. Also, you can’t squeeze through places with a giant cart banging around. I had to skip aisles and then come back to them later, because of traffic, and I feel this is most inefficient. Don’t even get me started on the produce section. (Although, I had a cute moment: all I know about picking watermelons is that they should be heavy. So I picked up a couple and weighed them in my hands, feeling for the heaviest one. I chose mine, and then noticed a little girl staring at me. As I wheeled away I saw her pick up several watermelons and weigh them in her hands like me. ADORABLE.)
Regretful impulse buy: I was suckered into buying Banana Nut Cheerios because they were on sale. Do you know why they were on sale? BECAUSE THEY ARE DISGUSTING. What I should have bought instead was Apple Cinnamon Cheerios, which is what I had my eye on in the first place. Sometimes it’s worth it to pay a little more for something that is not gross.
Non-regretful impulse buy: lemon gelato. I wanted frozen yogurt, because that’s one of my favourite things, but it’s super hard to find frozen yogurt. Gelato isn’t that bad for you either, so I thought I’d take a chance. I opened it when I got home and was a little discouraged because it looked like a container full of an invisible dessert. I guess when you turn lemons into gelato they lose all colour? I thought it would be yellow, but it’s like a colourless void. It’s tasty, though. (I also have lemon yogurt. Maybe I should branch off into some other flavours. Although, that’s what I was trying to do with stupid Banana Nut Cheerios.)
Somebody’s moving out today. I hope it’s Jerkface Music Guy. I ended up calling the super guy and found out that somebody on the third floor had been evicted, and was just being difficult until moving day. I’ll find out at 2am if I can’t hear any music!
Regretful impulse buy: I was suckered into buying Banana Nut Cheerios because they were on sale. Do you know why they were on sale? BECAUSE THEY ARE DISGUSTING. What I should have bought instead was Apple Cinnamon Cheerios, which is what I had my eye on in the first place. Sometimes it’s worth it to pay a little more for something that is not gross.
Non-regretful impulse buy: lemon gelato. I wanted frozen yogurt, because that’s one of my favourite things, but it’s super hard to find frozen yogurt. Gelato isn’t that bad for you either, so I thought I’d take a chance. I opened it when I got home and was a little discouraged because it looked like a container full of an invisible dessert. I guess when you turn lemons into gelato they lose all colour? I thought it would be yellow, but it’s like a colourless void. It’s tasty, though. (I also have lemon yogurt. Maybe I should branch off into some other flavours. Although, that’s what I was trying to do with stupid Banana Nut Cheerios.)
Somebody’s moving out today. I hope it’s Jerkface Music Guy. I ended up calling the super guy and found out that somebody on the third floor had been evicted, and was just being difficult until moving day. I’ll find out at 2am if I can’t hear any music!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
only as brave as your weapons
You guys, this is how awesome I am.
- three spiders and two ants on my patio are no longer with us thanks to my CRAZY FLYSWATTER OF DOOM. This is my reaction: 1) GAAAAAAAAAAAAASP!! 2) *jump out of chair and grab flyswatter* 3) SMACK! “Ha!” Question: is the relish with which I assassinate these creatures and the subsequent glee I feel a sign that I am a psychopath? Just something to ponder.
- one crane fly (or drunk-driver fly, as they were known throughout my childhood) KILLED IN MIDAIR because it unwittingly stumbled into my bedroom in the middle of the night. This is my reaction: 1) *listen to bizare tap tap tap sound* “Am I being robbed? Is there a mouse in here? Is it a monster?” 2) *locate sound – coming from between blinds and window* 3) *jump out of bed and grab spare flyswatter. Stalk crane fly, who refuses to hold still and then LANDS ON MY CLOTHING. Ew.* 4) “You know what? Take THAT.” *SMACK with flyswatter in the general direction of the psycho crane fly, THUMP goes crane fly into my box of shoes. KILLED IN MIDAIR you guys.*
Now if only I could figure out what to do about the fruit flies. They are too small for my flyswatter.
- three spiders and two ants on my patio are no longer with us thanks to my CRAZY FLYSWATTER OF DOOM. This is my reaction: 1) GAAAAAAAAAAAAASP!! 2) *jump out of chair and grab flyswatter* 3) SMACK! “Ha!” Question: is the relish with which I assassinate these creatures and the subsequent glee I feel a sign that I am a psychopath? Just something to ponder.
- one crane fly (or drunk-driver fly, as they were known throughout my childhood) KILLED IN MIDAIR because it unwittingly stumbled into my bedroom in the middle of the night. This is my reaction: 1) *listen to bizare tap tap tap sound* “Am I being robbed? Is there a mouse in here? Is it a monster?” 2) *locate sound – coming from between blinds and window* 3) *jump out of bed and grab spare flyswatter. Stalk crane fly, who refuses to hold still and then LANDS ON MY CLOTHING. Ew.* 4) “You know what? Take THAT.” *SMACK with flyswatter in the general direction of the psycho crane fly, THUMP goes crane fly into my box of shoes. KILLED IN MIDAIR you guys.*
Now if only I could figure out what to do about the fruit flies. They are too small for my flyswatter.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
hey now what's this
My mom left today so I’ve been puttering around my apartment, which feels strange. I went to take my garbage out, and said to myself, “This is where I live now.” I wonder how long it will take to really feel like it’s really where I live, instead of just a hotel or something. (A lousy hotel. I have to do all my own dishes.) There are two fruit flies having a dance party in my kitchen, but I can’t remember how to get rid of them and I don’t have internet yet. I can’t steal internet from any of my neighbours because they’ve all cleverly protected theirs. Boo. I wonder if not getting cable was a bad idea – it’s so quiet in here. Although, I had planned on responsibly watching one episode of Popular with my dinner, and then watched two, and would have watched three except I convinced myself I should take my garbage out before it started smelling. The whole process made me feel like a grown-up. I think lots of things are going to make me feel like a grown-up in a very short period of time. I’m not so sure I like it. Although I do like my apartment, except for the stupid person above me who puts their music on at 9pm and leaves it on LITERALLY all night long. WHO DOES THAT. I am trying to work up the nerve to talk to the super about it (what does “super” stand for in this particular instance? Supervisor? Superintendent? Superlative?) because I don’t want to be the complainy neighbour but I also want to sleep at night. What a crazy idea.
I might have to re-think my clock. I bought a new clock to put in my living room but it just sits there going TICK… TOCK… TICK… TOCK… all day long. I don’t think that’s going to work for me.
I might have to re-think my clock. I bought a new clock to put in my living room but it just sits there going TICK… TOCK… TICK… TOCK… all day long. I don’t think that’s going to work for me.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
so don't try, no don't try
This is what I learned today. If a bunch of different companies check your credit rating for completely legitimate reasons, it can temporarily affect your credit score and give you a heart attack. I was trying to buy a phone from Koodo, who is all like, "Our phones are free because of Tab!" except that surprise, if you signed up for Telus internet yesterday Telus did a credit check on you, and then the credit check people are all, "Whoa, so many credit checks in such a short period of time! DENIED!", you can't get a free phone because of Tab. Because you need to have good credit to have Tab, and apparently my credit is going to be bad for a few days. Even though I have impeccable credit ALL THE OTHER TIMES when I am not signing up for Telus internet. The guy at Best Buy felt bad for me because I was a little bit upset so he gave me some extra decals for my new phone. Hopefully in a few days my credit rating will be back to normal AND I will have extra decals for my phone.
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