Sometimes I feel that I have the worst brain of all the brains. It's like there's a bunch of jerks in there, and their whole job is to mess things up. I will introduce you to some of them.
JERK #1: Reconnaissance
Its job is to find stuff that I'd mercifully forgotten momentarily. But then Jerk #1 is all, "Oh, did you forget about that giant headache you had? Here, let me scour the far reaches of your brain until I find it again for you." "Hey, remember that story you read that was so awful it made you want to vomit? Don't forget about all the details, okay? Those are super important."
JERK #2: Muse
This one is bi-polar and has terrible timing. It occasionally fills me with all the good words that combine to make wonderful stories, usually just as I'm about to fall asleep. Alternately, it randomly freezes any creative inspiration and sucks me dry of words when I want them.
JERK #3: Fixation
It likes to find the stupidest, most mundane detail and grab hold of it and NOT LET GO until I want to punch someone in the face. "Hey! Hey! Someone's making gross eating sounds!" "Hey! This person breathes weird!" "Hey! This person is tapping a random beat!" "Hey! This person is jingling their keys! Listen listen!"
JERK #4: Fantasy
This one is an excellent multi-tasker. It can draw me into a book or movie so deeply that I forget to differentiate between fiction and reality; it can fill my brain with imaginary conversations or scenarios that would never actually happen that way, causing disappointment and/or unrealistic expectations; it can make me afraid of the monsters in my closet. "Listen carefully; there's a haunted ventriloquist dummy scuttling around here somewhere just waiting to rip your heart out!" "Look really closely in that darkened, empty car - a dead body is going to slowly rise from the passenger seat and lock eyes with you." "If you talk to that guy over there, this is EXACTLY how it will go! There are no other possible outcomes!"
Basically I hate them all.
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