took the stars from my eyes and then i made a map

So I'm in love with Florence and the Machine, and I think you should be, too. I'm not talking about Ceremonials, which is the new cd that I haven't heard and therefore cannot vouch for; I'm talking about Lungs, which came out a while ago and which I got for Christmas and which I have been listening to obsessively since then.

I love it because she has an amazing voice, and the lyrics are interesting, and there is a heap of instruments that contribute to make a full, complicated sound. There are slow songs for when I'm sad and fast songs for when I'm happy and no bad words. (Not happy songs, though. Once I'd listened enough to sing along to all the songs I realized that the general theme of them all is obsessive, unreciprocated love. Like, super obsessive. Like, wanting to wear his skin like a wedding dress obsessive. The nice thing about that is that it made me feel normal when I was sad about a boy situation. [Hardly a situation; it didn't last very long and I don't even think they were really dates.] Yes, I was sad and I thought about him ALL THE TIME for a bit, but at least I never wanted to wear his flesh as a wedding dress. I think that's important.)

Anyway. Don't let that deter you from listening to it. Here, I made you a playlist. My favourites, if you want to jump right to them because they are fantastically amazing, are Cosmic Love and Blinding. I routinely skip Kiss With a Fist, because it's about beating each other up, and Girl With One Eye, because it makes me uncomfortable, and You've Got the Love, because it's boring and happy. But the rest! The rest are awesome. I've been listening to the rest for two months. Go listen!

so maybe speed it up a little

One of my favourite pastimes is eavesdropping. I love to sit in a crowd and listen to what everyone is saying without having to make the effort to contribute to the conversation. Digging interesting words out of my brain is exhausting. So, I guess I like eavesdropping because I'm lazy. I wonder how many of my other favourite things stem from languidness?

1) Purple: Eyes drawn to purple items from habit? Too much effort to muster up some enthusiasm for the rest of the colours?
2) Reading: A very sedentary habit. Especially because I prefer reading in a reclined position as opposed to, say, reading on a treadmill.
3) Lemon pudding: Can't be bothered to make the rest of the parts of the pie?
4) Singing in my car: I could just drive around with my mouth shut, so I think I'm probably good here. Plus, if I don't know the words I usually head-bob enthusiastically. That's basically like exercise.

I heard on the radio today that a naturally slow gait is correlated to DEMENTIA. Of course I have a naturally slow gait. I'm a lazy bum. However, a weak handshake is connected to heart disease and stroke, and I have like the best handshake of all time. I'm pretty sure that's why I've gotten all my jobs. So... I'm probably good, then. I'll just keep shaking hands firmly and everything will be fine.

the easy solution involves a hammer

So my new mouth guard and I have a terrible relationship. After I nearly barfed when they made the mold of my mouth, I thought, Hey, it probably won't get worse than this. As usual, my optimism was horribly misplaced.

WHY MY MOUTHGUARD IS THE WORST
1) It tastes like perfume, no matter how many times I soak it in stupid vinegar water.
2) It doesn't go soft and gently encase my teeth like I paid the big bucks for it to do.
3) It causes my lips to slowly part and then remain parted so as to become dry and cracked by morning.
4) It makes my face look like a duck.

Nutshell: boo mouthguard.