a friday night blog post about wasps (i'm cool like that)

A good thing that has come about from living in a separate locale from anyone who could do something about there being a bug in my house is that now I have to do something about it. I have personally dealt with spiders, moths, craneflies, AND SO ON. I know. It's pretty impressive.

Today, when I was in the process of moving furniture around to facilitate playing fetch with Charlie in my tiny apartment, I noticed a wasp chillin' on my windowsill. Hastily I grabbed the flyswatter that hangs on my balcony door, meanwhile assuring said wasp that I wasn't going to kill him. My plan was thus: get him to step onto the flyswatter, and then escort him outside via window.

At first he was not interested in stepping onto the flyswatter, so I had to harass him, which caused me to fear that he would flip out and sting me in the face. After a battle of wills, I emerged victorious and stuck the flyswatter/wasp combo out the window. I imagined that he would be all, "Oh! Air! How wonderful. I will depart."

But it was not so. I shook the flyswatter, and turned it upside down, but after being so belligerent about not getting on, he now didn't want to get off. Losing patience, I closed the window on the flyswatter handle to allow him to shove off when he is ready. However, it doesn't look like he'll ever be ready. This is where he lives now. He's just going to cling with his tiny feet for the rest of his life.

I'll keep you posted as to whether or not he decides to vacate the premises.

(Probably not. It's 95% likely I'll forget about the flyswatter until my mother comes in July to help me move and says, "Why is there a flyswatter stuck in your window?" and I'll be like, "OH! RIGHT!" And the wasp will still be there.)