naturally this happened

I was in the midst of some correspondence when there was a sprightly knock at my door. I froze, fingers hovering over keys, momentarily forgetting where I was and wondering if I was expecting company. I instantly recalled that I never receive company because I don't really have any chairs, and went to go investigate.

The doorbell rang as I walked down my oddly long entrance hall. A persistent someone was on the other side of the door. And due to a major flaw in my front door (namely, the peep hole is only usable if you are seven feet tall or have go-go-gadget legs and/or neck), I flung open the door to what could very well have been a crazy homeless murderer.

Thankfully, it was no such murderer; it was only my next door neighbour, with whom I have shared some stilted conversations because I no longer possess the ability to talk to other people.

"Why, hello," I said suavely. "And how do you do this evening?"

"Good evening," he said charmingly. "It's your neighbour! Might I be so bold as to say, you look lovely."

"This old thing?" I asked, glancing down at the sequined ball-gown I wear when lounging about the house. "You're too kind."

We both chuckled at my wit. We then proceeded to engage in meaningful conversation about a broad assortment of topics, which concluded with a comment from him on how wonderful it was to speak so easily with someone as eloquent as I. Another chuckle, and we parted ways.

Just kidding. I fully stumbled awkwardly through a strange conversation about him moving out because he bought a house so maybe I wanted to rent his apartment instead of mine because his has bamboo floors. I was going to wash my hair post-writing-email, so it was all greasy and messy and shaped like a hat because I'd previously been wearing a hat. I'd just returned from walking Charlie, so where I wished for a ball gown in actuality it was sweatpants and a baggy shirt and I was probably sweaty. I wasn't even wearing my pretty glasses! I was wearing my ugly glasses! I never wear my ugly glasses!

I get the feeling that I'm kind of doomed, here.