Dear cocoa:
I realize you have many friends, many passionately devoted friends, but I'm going to say this anyway. I HATE YOU. I hate you for several reasons. I'm going to make a list of these reasons.
1. One time I opened a can of you, and thought you looked delicious, like hot chocolate. So I took a spoon and scooped some of you into my mouth. YOU DO NOT TASTE LIKE HOT CHOCOLATE. I'm fairly certain I nearly died from the shock and also from how dry you made my mouth.
2. You keep too many secrets. For example, you are up to your ears in caffeine. ALL THE TIME. But you are full of sneaky caffeine, hidden inside of brownies and cake. You pull the same dirty trick over and over. No more secrets, cocoa! I'm on to you.
Those are actually all the reasons. I thought there were more, but mostly because I am SO ANGRY that you sneakily snuck in to my dessert tonight and the volume of my anger made it seem like a million reasons. Damn and blast, cocoa.
I did the "take spoon and scoop some into my mouth" thing once when I was a kid. This blog entry made me cringe!
ReplyDeleteGross. But I'm glad I'm not the only one who did it. :)
ReplyDelete