always room for cake

I'm reading my favourite book in the sunshine, and there's a dog sleeping at my feet. The only thing that could make this moment any better would be cake.

we're all reasonable except the dog

This is a typical day in room 207.

Miss W: Blah blah blah teaching blah fascinating information blah blah.

Students: BLAH BLAH TALKING OVER MISS W BLAH BLAH OUTRAGEOUS BEHAVIOUR.

Miss W: I will just wait for you.

Students: BLAH BLAH BLAH NOT LISTENING BLAH.

Miss W: (waiting)

Students: BLAH BLAH OBLIVIOUS BLAH BLAH.

Miss W: (describes consequences for behaviour.)

Students: WAH WAH WHAT DID WE DO WAH NOT FAIR WAH.

However, everyone was very reasonable today for some reason. Even though it was a work period for one of my classes and I HATE work periods because they are unstructured and nobody gets anything done, I was good at keeping them on task and they were good at staying on task. Also, I decided that instead of having 5 different types of consequences and being confusing, I would have ONE consequence that is super effective that I found by accident. I keep track of how much time they waste and that time is their detention. I think I have a new facial expression: it is called the WATCHING THE CLOCK face.

In dog-related news, Charlie has his first nemesis: a few days ago he got stuck in some hedges we walk past every day, and now he hates them. Now, every time we pass them he attacks them with his baby teeth and tries to tear them apart, and he seems quite satisfied with himself afterwards. They'll think twice before pulling a stunt like THAT again.

despite the deathly chill of winter we are alive

I use the word "hate" too often. This was brought to my attention by my wonderful grade seven students, who keep telling me, "Miss W., 'hate' is a really strong word." Sometimes I say, "I KNOW! And I HATE this!" about whatever inspired the use of the word in the first place. Sometimes I scale it back to an intense dislike. But you guys, I truly hate hockey season. I hate hockey season for the same reason why I'm a really bad hockey fan. I love the players, and they try so hard, and I can't imagine how much pressure they are under all the time, and then they make a mistake and the people who are supposed to be on their side become bitter little gremlins who suddenly know better, and can play better, and call them worthless. I am indiscriminate with my affections for hockey players, and I wish them ALL well - like, let's just end this whole thing in a giant tie. Then nobody is sad at the end. (Yes, I'm one of those people.) But somebody always has to lose, and when they lose everybody hates them, and it breaks my heart. I wish hockey fans were more steadfast. The pressure of all the minutes between when the game starts and when the game ends wear on my soul and I feel bad for somebody the entire time, because people are always making mistakes. When it's all over, somebody is always disappointed and I can't stand it.

I'm just really sad about hockey.

let's make it the worst ballet ever. then let's make it THREE HOURS LONG. then let's kill everyone.

Holy crap, you guys. I am so traumatized right now.

16. Oklahoma (1955) - Gordon MacRae, Shirley Jones. I finally wrenched myself away from Bloodhounds of Broadway and decided on Oklahoma. You know, since everyone is always talking about it like it's the best thing in the world. It's about a bunch of people in Oklahoma, and a girl and a boy who like each other but make things difficult for each other.
          I liked it until the good guy (Curly) went into the bad guy's (Judd) house and tried to convince Judd to KILL HIMSELF. I guess Curly didn't get the memo that he is supposed to be the good guy? And then, Judd disclosed himself to be a big creepo by talking about his pictures of naked women and how he's tired of the pictures and wants a real woman. I knew he was a bad dude as soon as I saw him (I said to my dog, "He's a bad dude."), but from that point on I became uncomfortable. You know how there are problems in movies that are like, "Aw shucks, this is really unfortunate. Oh well, I'm sure they'll fix things by the end and everything will be fine!" And then there are those problems that are PROBLEMS that even when it's all over, nobody will ever really be okay again? That's what I started envisioning Oklahoma to be. At that point I realized that maybe it wasn't the movie I thought it was.
         Then there was bizarro-world ballet sequence, which I'm sure was supposed to be neat but just added to the creepiness that beset me. Like, why are they all acting like dolls? WHERE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE? And then bizarro-main girl (Laurey) is about to marry bizarro-Curly, until she discovers that it's JUDD! And she tries to run away but everyone blocks her in and nobody will HELP HER! And then the music is like the normal music but creepier and plinky! This is the worst ballet I have ever seen. It's so terrible and scary. And why is it so LONG? How long do I have to watch people not helping her escape from creepy, evil Judd??????? I hate this movie.
         When bizarro-Curly FINALLY tries to save bizarro-Laurey by shooting Judd a billion times in the chest and Judd doesn't die, and instead MURDERS BIZARRO-CURLY, I decided to stop watching. This movie is awful and unnecessarily disturbing. That'll teach me to watch a different movie from the best movie in the world. I am going to watch Bloodhounds of Broadway to cleanse my musical palate and also my brain from being so creeped out.

I SAID GOOD DAY

I dislike closing salutations. Almost every time I end an email or a phone call or a letter, the agony over what would be appropriate or suitable consumes me. At school in emails to parents, whether or not it has anything to do with supporting me, my closing line is "Thanks for your support." If I ask a question and need an answer, I usually say "Thanks" in expectation of a favourable outcome. But what about when you ask a favour and are not sure what the person is going to say? Or what if it's a composition to a family member or acquaintance who you're not REALLY close to? In those cases "Thanks" doesn't really seem adequate. Sometimes I resort to "Have a good [insert general time of day]," but even that seems to cold and distant for most correspondence. I wish we could go back to "Regards," or "Sincerely," without it seeming like we meant to be ironic, and coming across like a pretentious doof.

sort of politely swing and sway

I never like things like normal people - if I discover something I enjoy, I become instantly obsessed with it and it occupies my every waking moment until I discover something ELSE I enjoy, and so on. (See The IT Crowd, Community, pleated-jeans, Fred and Ginger, and so on.) Anyway, most recently that has been musicals. My wonderful friend Vanessa aided my obsession by lending me MILLIONS of musicals. Adding a furry infant to my life gave me less time for movies, which of course is completely acceptable, but recently I had a chance to watch one of the batch she lent me, and I'm pretty sure I've stumbled upon the best musical that ever existed. Certainly my new all-time favourite movie, which I know because I've watched it about eleven times, and I still love it. She may have trouble getting this one back from me. :)

15. Bloodhounds of Broadway (1952) - Mitzi Gaynor, Scott Brady. It's about this bookie Robert 'Numbers' Foster and his bunch of gangsters in New York who get in trouble with a crime committee, so they take off to Florida and leave Numbers' girlfriend, Yvonne, to give a fake testimony and get them off the hook. She does, and so Numbers and his buddy Poorly drive back to New York, but temporarily get lost in Georgia. There, they meet Emily Ann Stackerlee, who saves their lives but endangers her own by doing so. Naturally, the solution is for Numbers and Poorly to take her with them to New York. There, after she gets a New York make-over, it turns out that while they thought she was a kid, she is actually a pretty young woman. Numbers is flabbergasted by this discovery, and Yvonne is somewhat less-than-pleased. I don't want to spoil the ending, but it is fantastic. Extremely satisfying, which is rare for me because I have very specific tastes.
        What I liked were all the songs, and how everybody's accents were legit, and how handsome Numbers was, and authentic the characters were. There was nothing I did not like, except that there's this one scene where a boy who likes Emily Ann rushes in to her cabin and shoves her aside, and Numbers flips out and is all, "You wanna belt me like you belted her?" Numbers, he did not belt her. He shoved her. Unless the word does not mean what I think it means. Also, there is a man who plays a guy named Curtaintime Charlie, and I am sad for him because even though he is very good-looking and extremely talented, he never really got a big break. Most of his credits on imdb are "uncredited" or "scene cut." That makes me sad.
        Anyway, it's a spectacular movie. You should watch it! Only be careful it's not the one with Madonna with the exact same name. It's the other one. The one with Madonna might be good, too, but this one is the BEST.

and sometimes it doesn't even swivel PROPERLY

This is me today.

Which is why I'm spending my prep block chillin' with a bag of cheddar crispy minis instead of marking English assignments. Bah.