Holy crap, you guys. I am so traumatized right now.
16. Oklahoma (1955) - Gordon MacRae, Shirley Jones. I finally wrenched myself away from Bloodhounds of Broadway and decided on Oklahoma. You know, since everyone is always talking about it like it's the best thing in the world. It's about a bunch of people in Oklahoma, and a girl and a boy who like each other but make things difficult for each other.
I liked it until the good guy (Curly) went into the bad guy's (Judd) house and tried to convince Judd to KILL HIMSELF. I guess Curly didn't get the memo that he is supposed to be the good guy? And then, Judd disclosed himself to be a big creepo by talking about his pictures of naked women and how he's tired of the pictures and wants a real woman. I knew he was a bad dude as soon as I saw him (I said to my dog, "He's a bad dude."), but from that point on I became uncomfortable. You know how there are problems in movies that are like, "Aw shucks, this is really unfortunate. Oh well, I'm sure they'll fix things by the end and everything will be fine!" And then there are those problems that are PROBLEMS that even when it's all over, nobody will ever really be okay again? That's what I started envisioning Oklahoma to be. At that point I realized that maybe it wasn't the movie I thought it was.
Then there was bizarro-world ballet sequence, which I'm sure was supposed to be neat but just added to the creepiness that beset me. Like, why are they all acting like dolls? WHERE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE? And then bizarro-main girl (Laurey) is about to marry bizarro-Curly, until she discovers that it's JUDD! And she tries to run away but everyone blocks her in and nobody will HELP HER! And then the music is like the normal music but creepier and plinky! This is the worst ballet I have ever seen. It's so terrible and scary. And why is it so LONG? How long do I have to watch people not helping her escape from creepy, evil Judd??????? I hate this movie.
When bizarro-Curly FINALLY tries to save bizarro-Laurey by shooting Judd a billion times in the chest and Judd doesn't die, and instead MURDERS BIZARRO-CURLY, I decided to stop watching. This movie is awful and unnecessarily disturbing. That'll teach me to watch a different movie from the best movie in the world. I am going to watch Bloodhounds of Broadway to cleanse my musical palate and also my brain from being so creeped out.
haha.. for some reason i had forgotten about that scene until you wrote about it. although i've never seen the movie. I remember it being a dream? Or maybe I just wanted to remember it that way to cover up the trauma of it? Apparently I had it completely blocked out of my memory.
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