always room for cake

I'm reading my favourite book in the sunshine, and there's a dog sleeping at my feet. The only thing that could make this moment any better would be cake.

we're all reasonable except the dog

This is a typical day in room 207.

Miss W: Blah blah blah teaching blah fascinating information blah blah.

Students: BLAH BLAH TALKING OVER MISS W BLAH BLAH OUTRAGEOUS BEHAVIOUR.

Miss W: I will just wait for you.

Students: BLAH BLAH BLAH NOT LISTENING BLAH.

Miss W: (waiting)

Students: BLAH BLAH OBLIVIOUS BLAH BLAH.

Miss W: (describes consequences for behaviour.)

Students: WAH WAH WHAT DID WE DO WAH NOT FAIR WAH.

However, everyone was very reasonable today for some reason. Even though it was a work period for one of my classes and I HATE work periods because they are unstructured and nobody gets anything done, I was good at keeping them on task and they were good at staying on task. Also, I decided that instead of having 5 different types of consequences and being confusing, I would have ONE consequence that is super effective that I found by accident. I keep track of how much time they waste and that time is their detention. I think I have a new facial expression: it is called the WATCHING THE CLOCK face.

In dog-related news, Charlie has his first nemesis: a few days ago he got stuck in some hedges we walk past every day, and now he hates them. Now, every time we pass them he attacks them with his baby teeth and tries to tear them apart, and he seems quite satisfied with himself afterwards. They'll think twice before pulling a stunt like THAT again.

despite the deathly chill of winter we are alive

I use the word "hate" too often. This was brought to my attention by my wonderful grade seven students, who keep telling me, "Miss W., 'hate' is a really strong word." Sometimes I say, "I KNOW! And I HATE this!" about whatever inspired the use of the word in the first place. Sometimes I scale it back to an intense dislike. But you guys, I truly hate hockey season. I hate hockey season for the same reason why I'm a really bad hockey fan. I love the players, and they try so hard, and I can't imagine how much pressure they are under all the time, and then they make a mistake and the people who are supposed to be on their side become bitter little gremlins who suddenly know better, and can play better, and call them worthless. I am indiscriminate with my affections for hockey players, and I wish them ALL well - like, let's just end this whole thing in a giant tie. Then nobody is sad at the end. (Yes, I'm one of those people.) But somebody always has to lose, and when they lose everybody hates them, and it breaks my heart. I wish hockey fans were more steadfast. The pressure of all the minutes between when the game starts and when the game ends wear on my soul and I feel bad for somebody the entire time, because people are always making mistakes. When it's all over, somebody is always disappointed and I can't stand it.

I'm just really sad about hockey.

let's make it the worst ballet ever. then let's make it THREE HOURS LONG. then let's kill everyone.

Holy crap, you guys. I am so traumatized right now.

16. Oklahoma (1955) - Gordon MacRae, Shirley Jones. I finally wrenched myself away from Bloodhounds of Broadway and decided on Oklahoma. You know, since everyone is always talking about it like it's the best thing in the world. It's about a bunch of people in Oklahoma, and a girl and a boy who like each other but make things difficult for each other.
          I liked it until the good guy (Curly) went into the bad guy's (Judd) house and tried to convince Judd to KILL HIMSELF. I guess Curly didn't get the memo that he is supposed to be the good guy? And then, Judd disclosed himself to be a big creepo by talking about his pictures of naked women and how he's tired of the pictures and wants a real woman. I knew he was a bad dude as soon as I saw him (I said to my dog, "He's a bad dude."), but from that point on I became uncomfortable. You know how there are problems in movies that are like, "Aw shucks, this is really unfortunate. Oh well, I'm sure they'll fix things by the end and everything will be fine!" And then there are those problems that are PROBLEMS that even when it's all over, nobody will ever really be okay again? That's what I started envisioning Oklahoma to be. At that point I realized that maybe it wasn't the movie I thought it was.
         Then there was bizarro-world ballet sequence, which I'm sure was supposed to be neat but just added to the creepiness that beset me. Like, why are they all acting like dolls? WHERE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE? And then bizarro-main girl (Laurey) is about to marry bizarro-Curly, until she discovers that it's JUDD! And she tries to run away but everyone blocks her in and nobody will HELP HER! And then the music is like the normal music but creepier and plinky! This is the worst ballet I have ever seen. It's so terrible and scary. And why is it so LONG? How long do I have to watch people not helping her escape from creepy, evil Judd??????? I hate this movie.
         When bizarro-Curly FINALLY tries to save bizarro-Laurey by shooting Judd a billion times in the chest and Judd doesn't die, and instead MURDERS BIZARRO-CURLY, I decided to stop watching. This movie is awful and unnecessarily disturbing. That'll teach me to watch a different movie from the best movie in the world. I am going to watch Bloodhounds of Broadway to cleanse my musical palate and also my brain from being so creeped out.

I SAID GOOD DAY

I dislike closing salutations. Almost every time I end an email or a phone call or a letter, the agony over what would be appropriate or suitable consumes me. At school in emails to parents, whether or not it has anything to do with supporting me, my closing line is "Thanks for your support." If I ask a question and need an answer, I usually say "Thanks" in expectation of a favourable outcome. But what about when you ask a favour and are not sure what the person is going to say? Or what if it's a composition to a family member or acquaintance who you're not REALLY close to? In those cases "Thanks" doesn't really seem adequate. Sometimes I resort to "Have a good [insert general time of day]," but even that seems to cold and distant for most correspondence. I wish we could go back to "Regards," or "Sincerely," without it seeming like we meant to be ironic, and coming across like a pretentious doof.

sort of politely swing and sway

I never like things like normal people - if I discover something I enjoy, I become instantly obsessed with it and it occupies my every waking moment until I discover something ELSE I enjoy, and so on. (See The IT Crowd, Community, pleated-jeans, Fred and Ginger, and so on.) Anyway, most recently that has been musicals. My wonderful friend Vanessa aided my obsession by lending me MILLIONS of musicals. Adding a furry infant to my life gave me less time for movies, which of course is completely acceptable, but recently I had a chance to watch one of the batch she lent me, and I'm pretty sure I've stumbled upon the best musical that ever existed. Certainly my new all-time favourite movie, which I know because I've watched it about eleven times, and I still love it. She may have trouble getting this one back from me. :)

15. Bloodhounds of Broadway (1952) - Mitzi Gaynor, Scott Brady. It's about this bookie Robert 'Numbers' Foster and his bunch of gangsters in New York who get in trouble with a crime committee, so they take off to Florida and leave Numbers' girlfriend, Yvonne, to give a fake testimony and get them off the hook. She does, and so Numbers and his buddy Poorly drive back to New York, but temporarily get lost in Georgia. There, they meet Emily Ann Stackerlee, who saves their lives but endangers her own by doing so. Naturally, the solution is for Numbers and Poorly to take her with them to New York. There, after she gets a New York make-over, it turns out that while they thought she was a kid, she is actually a pretty young woman. Numbers is flabbergasted by this discovery, and Yvonne is somewhat less-than-pleased. I don't want to spoil the ending, but it is fantastic. Extremely satisfying, which is rare for me because I have very specific tastes.
        What I liked were all the songs, and how everybody's accents were legit, and how handsome Numbers was, and authentic the characters were. There was nothing I did not like, except that there's this one scene where a boy who likes Emily Ann rushes in to her cabin and shoves her aside, and Numbers flips out and is all, "You wanna belt me like you belted her?" Numbers, he did not belt her. He shoved her. Unless the word does not mean what I think it means. Also, there is a man who plays a guy named Curtaintime Charlie, and I am sad for him because even though he is very good-looking and extremely talented, he never really got a big break. Most of his credits on imdb are "uncredited" or "scene cut." That makes me sad.
        Anyway, it's a spectacular movie. You should watch it! Only be careful it's not the one with Madonna with the exact same name. It's the other one. The one with Madonna might be good, too, but this one is the BEST.

and sometimes it doesn't even swivel PROPERLY

This is me today.

Which is why I'm spending my prep block chillin' with a bag of cheddar crispy minis instead of marking English assignments. Bah.

early morning rain

I don't spend enough time in devotions, because I have a really short attention span and am good at filling up my time with other stuff. (See also: good at making excuses.) Today in church I decided that I should put some worship songs on my ipod for the early morning walks with Charlie - the ones where my brain is a fog of 'Is this real life,' 'Ugh why is it so dark,' and 'What am I doing moving this early in the morning.' Instead, I could be listening to worship songs! I thought of this while we were singing "It is Well," which I never realized I loved until now. Unfortunately, then I thought of this comic I saw earlier, and started laughing at an inappropriate time.

Now I am trying to compile a list of songs that are appropriate for early in the morning, and I would like your input. What are the best worship songs that will keep me awake and also help me to think about God instead of sleep?

queen of the lunchtime dating scene

Since I went back to work after getting Charlie, I rush home every day at lunch to feed him and let him out and play with him a bit. Today when I returned after lunch, one of my students said thoughtfully, "I don't think you have a dog actually. I think you're going on dates."

It's nice to know they think I have a more exciting social life than I truly do.

chickens are really hard to hold

Regarding my last post, I found an image to illustrate my feelings on the matter:

Just in case you can't read it, it's from The Holiday when Kate Winslet discovers the boy she likes is actually engaged to someone else, and she tries to kill herself. Then she realizes that's a stupid thing to do, so she sticks her head out the window and slaps herself in the face. "Low point!" she says. "Low point."

Anyway, that was a low point for me. Yesterday and today went MUCH BETTER, which is surprising to me because on the weekends, which is when that post took place, I get to sleep in; on the week days I get up bright and early to take my little mister for a walk before I go to work.

Speaking of walks, I have met more people from my apartment building in the last week than I have in the entire seven months I've been here. For one thing I leave my apartment more than I used to, and for another thing a lot of people can't resist approaching a puppy. Also, I think it gives people a non-threatening way to interact - I don't know their names and they don't know mine, but they know Charlie's. I've met a lot of rough looking gentlemen who would have intimidated me before, but puppies generally have the same effect on everyone; even rough looking gentlemen. (Unless you have no soul. Then you are exempt from this.)

You know when you're walking by yourself and a car approaches, and you swear it's slowing down as it approaches you and you start freaking out and imaging that you are moments away from being kidnapped? That has happened to me SEVERAL times, except that instead of being in my imagination like usual it's actually legitimately a car slowing down as it approaches me, but instead of kidnapping me all they want to do is point and coo at my puppy.

I have a FOR REAL for real blister from exercise! I am so excited. It's because of all the walking I am doing. I am doing a TON of walking. All over the place! Besides meeting millions of people and being stopped in the middle of the street, I have also noticed that either one person smokes pot ALL THE TIME in my neighbourhood, or else there are a lot of people who smoke pot. But I guess that unless they are driving while high and run me over because they are too chill to notice me, pot is the least of most evils if someone in my neighbourhood is going to be on a drug.

Also I am going to have buns of steel when you see me next. Sometimes I feel my will to live seep out of me with every step I take up the GIANT HILL back to my apartment, but then I realize how dumb it would look to just stand in the middle of a hill like an idiot, so I press on. Plus, I have a little energizer bunny pulling me along. Then I tell myself, use that larger-than-average behind you have, and I propel myself onwards. Soon I will not be able to tell myself that my behind is larger than average, because I walk a million times a day now, up a billion hills. It's pretty fantastic.

One last thing: in Socials class today, one student wanted to go down to the office and pick up something his dad had dropped off. Naturally, every single other student wanted to help him carry it. One student peppered me with questions in his eagerness to get sent along. "What is it? Is it a table? A desk? A chicken? Chickens are really hard to hold."

Maybe you had to be there, but that last part just killed me. Oh, grade sevens. How I will miss you.

a prickly cactus, a barbed wire bulldog

I talk about poo and wedgies in this one. And mostly complain. Just FYI.

After much effort, I finally found some runners. Like every other kind of store, Campbell River doesn't offer much in the way of athletic shoe stores, so I was losing hope until I went to this one place that had runners with purple on them. That pretty much decided it for me, plus they were in my budget. (Not having bought runners in about 10 years, I found that I had to up my budget dramatically from my initial idea, but these seemed fairly reasonable compared to all the rest.) When I emerged from my apartment with Charlie on our afternoon jaunt, it felt strange to take steps! Almost like my feet weren't actually stepping at all, just kind of hovering. They were heavier than I was used to, like being dressed in battle gear, but it felt good. Like I was an athlete!

Then Charlie pooed in someone's driveway, and yanked the leash out of my hand so it fell in the poo. When I picked it up, it got on both sleeves of my jacket and also on the poo bag holder. Then I discovered I had a wedgie situation, but there was nowhere secret to go to remedy that. Then, even though I thought I dressed appropriately for the weather with my windbreaker and a long sleeved shirt, the sweat-switch in my body flipped on for every single one of my pores, and suddenly there was a sweat-layer sandwiched in between my skin and clothing. Maybe I'm the only one who is like this, but when I get sweaty I hate everything until I can become less sweaty, but I was still several blocks from home. In poo-covered sleeves, with a wedgie.

I came home and gave my dog a bone with cheese to occupy him while I sit in my room and become less angry.

a heartbeat at my feet

I finally put on my grown-up pants, you guys. I have a dog who depends upon me for his every need, which sure makes a person be responsible all of a sudden. I am trying to figure out how to organize my life and his life at the same time. I go for THREE WALKS A DAY. Tomorrow I am going to buy new running shoes because after all the walking, my feet are like, "Hey, all of your shoes are crap." It's a bit overwhelming to explain how exactly my entire life has changed, but it SUPER has. Today I stuffed some cheese in a bone for him so I could take a shower. Tomorrow I'm going to sneak away to school and do all the marking I haven't done all week, because I've been rushing home to take care of my dog. Sometimes I feel like it was a mistake but sometimes I feel like his little heart and my heart are attached together now.